Chronic Pain Thoughts; Volume 21

 Dear Reader,

You know that locally owned and operated clinic that advertises on TV? The promise that they care, patient-centered care? I was referred to one of those places for their Rheumatology doctors. I finally had my appointment today, after waiting for 2 months.

I found it to be a waste of my time and energy. The staff wasn't very nice. I was treated and actually asked by the doctor “Why are you here?” It's crazy to leave a place where you had hope they would listen in tears because they did just the opposite.

I was again told: “I have to process the trauma in my life” “Get a good night sleep” and “This is your normal”. These things aren't reassuring to me. I don't have any trauma, I sleep as much as I can and I've done all the things that have been thrown at me, suggested and otherwise. Where do I go from here?

I cried; the provider had zero sympathy for me. I wasn't asked questions; I wasn't talked to about what I've tried. I was basically talked to like I was lying about the whole thing.

It's very important to not feel like a drug seeker, I'm not. I'm a relief seeker. According to the CDC everyone has the right to safe and effective pain treatment. My question is what does that look like?

Have you ever seen the movie Doctor Strange? Doctor Steven Strange uses his newly found magic powers to be able to use his hands again after his accident. Mind over Matter. That's what I was talked about today. Doctor Strange was able to do this because of movie magic. I'm not a magician nor am I a magically person. I can give myself pep talks all day long but that doesn't help my pain.

Although I would never do this, I understand why people buy pain medications off the street, why it's been such a problem. The CDC stepped in thanks for people like the Sakler's and stopped the prescribing of pain medication. People had to go elsewhere to get relief effectively creating a huge illegal drug problem. Those of us who could benefit from these types of medications can't get them for fear we will become addicted or sell it. I could see myself being addicted to not being in pain all the time.