Chronic Pain Thoughts: Volume 27

 Dear Reader,

I always thought it was “only me” who dealt with weird things. It's not, there are so many others who are the same. It's great to have the power of the internet to connect with people.

I had a friend, who also suffered from chronic pain, I would talk to her about these things, and she would make me feel like it was my fault. Like I was lazy and couldn't try and fix myself. Don't be like this and if someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. People can change but toxic people don't want to.

It's almost been 1 year since I ended up with emergency surgery, in the ICU and suffering for 10 more weeks after. It's been 1 year since I've spoken to the person who I thought was my friend. I need support and someone to vent to that wasn't my family and yet she wasn't there. Someone unexpected was. She reached it because it wasn't just me, she had been through the same thing. I've been thinking a lot about it lately. Here are the other things that aren't “Just me”.

I always thought that my arms getting super tired while trying to do my hair was just me. It's not, millions of people who suffer from fibromyalgia also feel the same thing.

I always thought it was me that no matter what I did, I couldn't get my upper body strength up, it's not just me.

I always thought it was just me who's stomach would get upset if I got too excited, or ate the wrong thing, it's not just me.

I always thought it was just me who would hurt so bad after walking, trying to exercise or sometimes even walk to the bathroom. It's definitely not just me.

I thought I was the only one who hurt themselves after trying to work out. I tore both my labral in my hip and meniscus in my knee on the right side after walking on the treadmill. It's not, so many others have had exercise related injuries.

I have so many other examples of this, it's eye opening. I always I was quirky because of these things happened to me. I was also told by doctor's it was normal or not that bad. I would just continue trying to live life.

It's been this way all my life, but it wasn't until after I had my 4^th child that things just weren't getting better, I could no longer ignore it. Trying to get treatment has brought me down a 10-year rabbit hole that I haven't been able to get out of. I don't ever want to feel alone, and I hope that no one else does either. It's a scary lonely place to be.